Musings on Life, from the back country

Can we really be afraid of success? Who would be scared of succeeding?

We hear about fear of failure all the time.

It’s a common theme in self help books or inspirational blogs, and it makes sense. Failure is something to be feared, right? We try hard, perhaps invest large sums of money, and a lot of time into an idea, all with the possibility of failing.
It’s easy to see how that can cause fear and anxiety in a person, and perhaps lead them to not taking the action as to not get in that precarious position in the first place.

But fear of success….why in the world would success be scary?

If we invest that same time, money and effort and we succeed, well, that’s the ultimate goal right?

Not so fast partner.

“The fear of success is a very unique issue that arises when you are genuinely creating change and moving forward in your life,” says Ti Caine, a hypnotherapist and life coach based in Sherman Oaks, California. “The fear of success is very real because the future is real-we’re all heading there-and what we imagine for our future has an enormous influence on us.”

Success comes with it’s own unique baggage, and it’s often right after we get started on a new project that we tend to notice this.

Imagine that you have a great new idea, or you finally found the business niche that is just right for you. You start planning, making connections, setting up your website, getting your office just right, all the while with eager anticipation of what is to come: hundreds or thousands of happy customers!

Now it starts to come true!

The email inbox is starting to fill up. Orders are coming in. Contact forms are being submitted requesting your services….

You quickly realize that things are getting overwhelming. You’re trying to figure out how in the world to fulfill those orders, service these customers, and there are a lot of aspects of business that you have no idea how to do, or take to the next level.

You begin to wonder

how are you going to produce more product to meet demand? What if you need employees, or contract with a factory? Heck, just the customer contact itself is keeping you up half the night! Employees, factories, publishers, lawyers and legal mumbo jumbo, what the heck?

You just wanted to start a business, and you hoped that a few people would come and buy your service or product, and now, this!

This sits in the back of our minds once we get started. Somewhere in our heads, we worry about it and realize we have no idea what we’ll do if we get “popular”. How in the heck do I hire someone? How do I do taxes for that? What about insurance? Workers comp?

That all becomes very intimidating! We get overwhelmed and tired even before anything has happened yet.

“No way can I do all that!”

So, for many of us, and myself included, our inclination is to pull back, keep things small, or even self sabotage our success.

“Our culture is focused on fixing the past. It’s as if we are driving through life staring in the rear-view mirror. – Ti Caine”

Want to know the truth?

If you catch up and talk to other people who are successful now, you’ll here a recurring theme:

They had no clue either, but they did it. They moved forward, took the risk, made a TON of mistakes and learned from them.

Sure, you’re thinking, that’s easy to say, perhaps even stupidly obvious, and somehow not very comforting. Isn’t that the problem with half the advice we here? Some dipstick tells us something that sounds real easy, it’s easy to say, but doing it is a whole other thing. It usually costs a fortune to get the dipstick to say it too.

But here is what we have to keep in mind. Starting a business or new venture of whatever sort entails risk. But the risk and uncertainty doesn’t stop there. Businesses and life always grows, changes and evolves, or they perish.

The comforting part is that, remember those successful people? They are just people like you and me. They are not super hero’s, most were not born with some privileged position, and they don’t have some secret manual with all of the answers.

The real keys are to be ok with sticking it out, and learning as you go. Also start networking as early as possible, and don’t be afraid to ask questions!

Most people who have “been there” are happy to answer questions. People like to be the “one who knows”. Take em up on it!

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